No matter how many times you count them, you won’t come up with 19 floors. Trust me….there is a 19th floor, and you won’t believe what goes on there.
I have been asked, on more than one occasion, to explain how and why the Annual Program fund is set up the way it is. Could it possibly be that it was intended to be the most complicated and completely incomprehensible method of funding humanitarian projects ever devised? It turns out that the answer to that question is an unqualified YES! I’ve recently learned that the notion that Rotary clubs can best determine how Rotary should achieve its objective of advancing the cause of world peace is a fraud. A sham. It’s a giant cover up for one of the biggest secrets ever revealed about Rotary International. That’s right, dear RFA readers, I have uncovered an amazing story that I reveal to you now at great personal risk because 1) it is my sworn duty as the editor, writer, and class clown of RFA, and 2) I am still hoping to win a Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism.
I have learned through a variety of covert sources at RI headquarters, located at One Rotary Center in Evanston, Ill, that world peace is actually planned and executed around the world by a super secret organization within an organization called the Rotary World Peace Division. (WPD) This group of highly trained world peace professionals work on the 19th floor of One Rotary Center. Yes. Yes. Yes. I know that you think that Rotary HQ has only 18 floors, but you would be incorrect. What you think you know about the building is an illusion, a carefully planned diversion to take your eyes away from the incredible and unbelievable work of the WPD. (Don’t try to find the actual architectural drawings for the 19th floor. Several have tried to retrieve them and let’s just say they all had an unfortunate accident.)
19th Floor Staff member dressed in required gray robe and hood. The gold bowl is required for maximum empathy and helps 19th floor staff determine the best ideas for world peace.
Let me give you a brief tour of the 19th floor. As you come off the elevator the immediate first impression you get is calm….and quiet. All Rotary employees on floor 19 dress in garb similar to ancient druids….robes with cowls that cover most of their faces. The walls are hospital white and the robes are shades of gray. The only sound you hear is the air conditioning that keeps 19th floor temperatures to within 1 degree of the required temperature for optimal peace work, and the low whir of super computers directly linked to the National Security Agency in the U.S. and the C.E.R.N. computers near the Franco-Swisss border near Geneva.
Elevator entrances to secret organizations have been well covered by the media. Here is a surprisingly accurate depiction of what its like from the ancient TV show, Get Smart. Younger Rotarians may not remember CONTROL Agent, Maxwell Smart, as he enters HQ through a series of super secret doors. This is similar to the 19th Floor entrance at One Rotary Center.
There is select Rotary staff working on the 19th floor, but the stars of the show are the six WPD “areas of focus” directors. These six men and women are the individuals who are actually responsible for all Rotary world peace efforts. With the help of super computing power, and their ability as trained empaths who can feel the pain and suffering of people in 200 countries around the world, these Area of Focus Directors (AOFD’s) spend their days silently contemplating peace and conflict resolution, disease prevention, maternal and child health, literacy, water and sanitation, and economic development, and then telepathically communicate their correct and infallible view of how to develop and finance the very best programs that will lead to world peace to more than 500 Rotary District Foundation Chairs worldwide. The Foundation Chairs, of course, have no idea they are being manipulated in this way, and have been for close to 100 years. For that matter, the International Rotary Foundation Chairs are also victims, helpless against the incredible power of the 19th Floor.
Hollywood once again helps us understand just how super secret and powerful 19th Floor WPD Operations can be. Will Smith’s transformation to Agent J in Men in Black is similar to the six AOFD Directors at Rotary WPD. They too transformed when they donned the robes and cowl of the WPD and subsequently lost their identity.
It is admittedly creepy to think that this has been going on for so many years. But it could be worse. Here is the always super-duper creepy Terrance Stamp explaining how “they” control free will in the movie, The Adjustment Bureau? These folks make 19th Floor Operations look positively benign. The lesson for us is 1) Don’t try to get between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, 2) Don’t try to figure out who is better looking, Matt Damon or Emily Blunt, and 3) The super powerful operatives of the WPD are doing the best they can to forward the object of world peace. You will never meet one of them. But if by my some miracle you do, don’t give them too much grief about the current state of the world. World peace is a tough nut…even for a bunch of super empaths.
This amazing hoax has been perpetrated on Rotarians since 1917, the year that RI President Arch Klumph decided to form a Foundation for the purpose of covering up the activities what would soon become known as the 19th Floor operation. “19th Floor programs” DO receive top priority funding from what we think of as the Rotary Foundation. (yes…Charity Navigator and the other independent rating agencies are in on this, but that’s another story.) Rotary clubs only think they are creating innovative, productive, and amazingly helpful programs to advance the cause of world peace around the world. They, we, us…are all pawns in a world peace power game being conducted under our very noses. It was the genius of Rotary leaders, like Arch Klumph, to realize that world peace could only be attained by a super select group of professionals working in the middle of North America, strategically located in Evanston, Ill.
Well now you know the truth. There is a super secret division of Rotary druids on the 19th Floor of One Rotary Center who are empaths who determine the best programs to advance the cause of world peace, and telepaths who convince Rotarians that these projects were their own idea. Did you really think a program with an APF, World Fund, SHARE program, DDF, three year investment period, etc., etc., etc., could possibly be anything more than a diversion to so mystify Rotarians that they wouldn’t recognize 19th Floor Programs?
Authors Note: I hope you enjoyed today’s conspiracy theory post. If you believe any part of this…I just can’t help you. The SHARE program at the Rotary Foundation is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve seen. It allows Rotary clubs around the world to work together to further the object of world peace through humanitarian service. There is still one month left to give to our Foundation this Rotary year. Please give generously.
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